ugh I really hope I do not have diabetes.. but I am starting to show the signs of it.. tho that could just be because I do not have my levoxyl.. I am hoping that is all it is.. but I may hafta go to urgent care and use the cc again just to find out.. I did give up on candy mainly, but I still eat lots of sugar.. but I did start exercising.. soo we shall see I suppose.. my ear is still bothering me so I have to go for that as well becuase it is starting to get worse.. I am just falling apart aren't I.. sigh..
well I have decided that after a month if I still do not have a job, I will go back to banking.. ugh I really do not want to! I hate banking so much and that is the last thing I want to do.. but what else am I going to do if those are the only jobs I am being offered? There really is nothing else for me it seems.. bah
all the other positions I am applying for I have been rejected saying I do not have enough experience.. what other experience do i need? geez.. well oh well we will see what happens.. I am just trying as long as I can to wait as long as I can to get a job that I actually want.. that I wont mind going into work every day.. sigh..

oh I went into Goodwill the other day to bring Andrew lunch, and David was there.. ugh.. I got so flustered that I didn't even stay to chat with Andrew too long.. I was just like, "David is here, so I am going to go now.." I was afraid of running into him and speaking my mind, so I just left quickly..

and now Andrew is off to vegas.. sigh.. I know he has to have his time with his friends, but ugh.. I hate to think of him over there.. and it's like, I trust him but always, in the back of my mind, because of all I have been through, there is that nagging feeling tht something bad is going to happen or he is going to get into some sort of trouble.. and plus the drinking.. I hate the drinking.. =P I don't understand why he has to.. why anyone feels they have to.. it is stupid.. sigh.. oh well.. there is not a whole lot that I can do about it.. I know he likes to drink and that bothers me so much! at least he has calmed down on the drinking and he is not as into it as he used to be but I still don't like it.. I have calmed down on the beers tho, I don't mind those nearly as much as I used to.. it is the hard alcohol that bothers me and makes me worried.. sigh oh well..
alright.. I am going to go now.. I am tired of typing.. no work on my story this week even tho I had been planning on it.. not sure why I didn't, but next week is the week!